Istanbul. You are shiny like sunny!

Istanbul was strange. I was forever being regarded as somewhat of a freak by the Turkish people. Some may remember me regaling the story of being stared at for half an hour or so by 20 odd Laotians in Loas. Well in Istanbul there weren't any long unbroken stares, but a lot of double takes, short unbroken stares and at one point a photo session with headdressed turkish schoolgirls. Seems like spiky, messy hair is a rarity in Istanbul. Like the use of deodorant. Funny that, because they have public baths to keep clean. Why not a quick spray with a masking scent... I don't really know.

Oh and the turkish bath, the Hamam, let me tell you being slapped, stretched and lathered up by a semi naked moustachioed man is a lot more funn that it sounds. Just don't say your from Sydney or Australia. They slap you with greater force if you do. Unless you are into that. This is Anna, Kathrin, me and Richard after a Hamam and into the waterpipe! Once again, excuse the hair.

Oh i found out the hard way that the Blue Mosque and the Haghia Sofia are different buuldings. Because of ignorance (i have this in spades), I wandered the streets at 4:30am in all the wrong places. Cause my directions were based on the Blue Mosque and not the Haghia Sofia.

This rabbit Nicole is holding told me my fortune. Basically said i don't look after my health because I abuse various substances. I've now appointed that rabbit my financial, personal and spiritual advisor. I am currently being investigated by the RSPCA for having relations with rodents. The rabbit is telling me to plead not guilty.

This is the Cistern... Built to supply water to the Sultans palace, but instead it is now home to the worlds fattest goldfish. Fascinating history... if i could remember it. Truth is, i spent most of my time in Istanbul out every night with the various people staying at the hostel. And most of the days aimlessly wandering the streets patting stray cats and scratching my bed bug bites. I was on such a mission to find a good kebab meal. Alas twas not to be found. That turkish place up near Shoreditch is still the best.

Met alot of great people in Istanbul. You know who you are! And had plenty of wacky Turkish culture. Waterpipes/sheeshas, Garbage Island, Fish sandwiches, Ashtray flavoured Homous, free chocolate, Jack Johnson, Ramadan, Hamams. Tres cool. Bit of a different trip for me. Hardly any sight seeing and alot of just cruising. I could get used to it. And thats all for now...

Croatia - A country with big asses and even bigger pizzas.

Seriously i got no photos of asses, but have a look at the pizza. After getting through two-thirds of it, i could barely amble the 100 odd metres to the hostel. Each step i took, i had to reswallow a mouthful of pizza. Not so delicious the second time round. Reminded me of an all you can eat competition us stupid uni boys had once. I really need to learn from my mistakes. And please forgive the hair. Tigi is shit. Don't use them. For great control of my hair at a reasonable price, I choose PPS Super Goop. It's like viagra for your hair.

And now to asses. Missed a great photo opportunity of a peasant woman dragging a donkey down a hill, through a nice rustic village. The other ass encounter was an entirely different story. At a water mill, we accidentally walked through someones house thinking it was a water mill. As i exited the front door, I was greeted by the sight of a peasant woman, squatting over a stream, skirt around the ankles, underwear no where to be seen (lord why did thee forsaken me?). Anyways.. i was also greeted by an aroma reminiscent of decomposing onions. Felt like someone had smacked me in the face with a bag full of rectums and colons.

But apart from pizzas, donkeys, and onions, Croatia has lots of beaches. Lots of pebbly beaches. Its great cause when you get them in your undies or crack, you just reach in and pull it out. None of this trying to wash it out in the surf business (sometimes you may have to wash the pebble though). There is no surf but the water is truelly amazing. Clearer than my conscience and colder than my demeanor.

And for all those looking for tips, On Mljet Island is a blue grotto/cave thing you can swim through like we did. Or you can pull a leaky boat down and paddle through it. Like we did. Go to Hvar for sunworshipping and drinking with taxi-boat drivers and knife wielding slovenians (don't ask). Dubrovnik for meeting that rare breed of travellers - the Australian, and Plitvice National Park for postcard perfect scenery.

Oh, Plitvice Lakes. Could you get any prettier. So many waterfalls, so many waterfalls yet so few buses. I had to run back a few kms to the car cause we missed the last bus back to the entrance. And i had just eaten a few giant sausages. Again there was much re-digesting of food going on. Blardy.... And to top it off I took a drink from one of the waterfall to try and take a little of Plitvice with me. Instead the microbes took alot of my sausages later that night. Stupid duck faeces.

A great country, friendly people (real friendly, one girl showed us how to make Bambooz, a local drink made of cheap red wine and coke. Tastes like sangria). And to Kate and Beck, next time we'll find the right 'cafe' before they close. And too all those people i met along the way - i'll pay you back next time I see you. I swear ;-)