Ireland 3 vs Lee 1

The Pregame:
The last time I faced Ireland in 2002, i was comprehensive beaten by some well placed rohypnol in Galway, a seafood chowder somewhere along the River Shannon and whatever germs were on the Blarney Stone at the time. It was payback time!

Friday 16th February 18:00 - Ireland (0) Vs Lee (0)
Game starts. On the train to the Heathrow, London's leading source of air-related pain and misery Cat decides to have some fun with the usual bored, stare-at-their feet London tube commuters and cuts one away. Let me and the bald guy sitting across from us tell you, for 50kg Cat is punching way above her weight with that one. And then she tried to blame it on the lady next to her. For shame Cat. For shame.

Saturday 17th February 03:21 - Ireland (1) Vs Lee (0)
After a energetic start checking into a hotel room and polishing a bottle of wine quick smart, Temple Bar posts first points for Ireland. Me and Cat are thrown out of a nightclub for being too rowdy. Seriously, we were in Ireland, is there even such a phrase as 'too rowdy' in Irish? It was a good first half though. I swear I see two heads in one bed in our dorm. But i don't trust my eyes.

Saturday 17th February 05:21 - Ireland (1) Vs Lee (0)
I wake up to what i think is dodgy sounds. Slurping, kissing, sucky noises etc. I don't trust my ears.

Saturday 17th February 09:11 - Ireland (1) Vs Lee (1)
Open bloodshot eyes. We've missed breakfast. Cat's having a shower and a short, round-ish middle aged German mum walks into the room. And prcoeeds to get changed whilst chatting to me. Lucky i missed breakfast. Score.

Sunday 18th February 01:45 - Ireland (1) Vs Lee (2)

A very interesting day in Dublin, the Book of Kells, Khilmainay Gaol and a freezing open top bus tour. Then a random house party which ended up with us in some private members only club somewhere. Score. We get back to our hostel. Nympho German mum is sound asleep alone.

Sunday 18th February 08:22 - Ireland (2) Vs Lee (2)
After breakie and during packing i find that the nymphomaniac German mother has left a condom wrapper from her late night antics on my jacket. I am suitably grossed out and frantically search to ensure that the contents are not lost somewhere in my clothes. Ireland has hit the equalizer.

Sunday 18th February 15:27 - Ireland (3) Vs Lee (2)
A nice day walking from the seaside village of Dalkey to Bray. Looks like i've beaten her. But bang! Ireland scores out of nowhere to snatch victory again. With the clock winding down and me and Cat sober and contained, we were hit with a shock ejection from another Irish pub. Damned! Ireland hits the winner with only minutes remaining. This time we were thrown out not cause we were 'too rowdy'. On the contrary we were just having an post-lunch afternoon kip. On their sofas. In their establishment. Without buying a drink. How rude of them :) Oh well, theres always the Donegal trip to make amends....

Christmas 2006 - Bumerangs and Bratwein


My first Christmas away. Thoughts drift back to a time of exorbitant seafood prices at the Sydney Fish Markets, raging bushfires, and ridculously expensive presents from my family. This year I received 24 tubes of hair gel. No more TVs, digital cameras, Xboxes and the like which demanded something similarly expensive in return. Most Bodacious Dude. So Christmas in Europe... how to spend this newly freed christmas funds? Of course with some Chrismtas Market action!

Now Cologne was my Christmas Market of choice. I was met by Anya a girl I met in a dodgy Istanbul hostel and the first thing I did was to look for my favourite German food. The Bratwurst Bratwurst Bratwurst (echo to fade). The whole blending of eyelids, nostrils, kidney stones and other bits of roadkill, and turning it into something that tasty is worthy of a Michelin Star. It represents a culinary delight for me (and strangely a good night in for Deven). The picture depicts Anya eating the good bits of roadkill, which was spun onto a skewer. Notice the lack of claws and assorted cartilage as would be found in the Bratwurst Bratwurst Bratwurst (echo to fade). Of course no Christmas Market visit is complete without some Gluhwein and how better to drink it then with a nice Bratwurst Bratwurst Bratwurst (echo to fade). Now if only somewone would sponsor my idea about blending Bratwurst into Gluhwein - Bratwein. All the best things about Bratwurst, in liquid form. And to top it off, alcoholic as well. Imagine getting drunk on Bratwein and not feeling the need for a dirty lamb kebab afterwards! Off course there'd be be the boutique meat drinks also - Kranskwein, Speckwein, Schnitzwein.... The mind boggles at the possibilities.

Heres something not everyone would know - there is a sizeable Gypsy and Aborginal population in Cologne. So much that there is a need for Bumerang stalls. Not for marsupial use, the Bumerang is needed due to the highly developed skills of the omnipresent Gypsies to steal almost anything (plus cursing those in earshot). A weapon which would strike from a long distance and return ready for another strike is proving invaluable amongst the inhabitants . Hence the booming market for Bumerangs and the aboriginal artisans which create such cost effective implements. A perfect present for any discerning rascist/fascist and buying Australian overseas to boot!!! I can't remember the prices, i am still suffering slight amnesia from a mysterious knock to the head whilst out walking along the river. Curse thee maggot...

The other very Christmas thing to do is off course some outdoor ice skating. I did some with Anya in Cologne, and when my sister Judy came over, I was a regular Dean (or Torvill whicever was better). Thats Judy in the coat which deserves a nice bonfire. What better way to spend a few hours than cutting people of and watching them fall. Joy to the world!

And what would Christmas be without a nice present to the people of the world.... enjoy... Deven put away that Bratwurst ....